Family, Fashion and Flying

2010-05-04T19:49:00.001-07:00

I haven't had the chance to tell about my wonderful iPhone I got almost 2 weeks ago. It feels like I have had it forever. I don't know what I used to do with out it! It is simply amazing. I am blogging from it in the form of a text message! Woo hoo!

Any way on to more news. I have started working towards some of the stuff I am craving. I have started working out, I have started taking prenatal vitamins again to help clear up my skin and grow out my hair. Ok so it's not a lot but it's more than I was doing!

And one last update. I may be losing my job. I am really freaking out about it. It's all my fault really. I should have gone in to work instead of taking another day off. Yet another thing I crave. A better work ethic. I was supposed to get a doctors note but my doctor wasn't willing to write me one. Hence my situation. So far this week I am not fired but the week isn't over. If any one reads this please if you have any spare thoughts and prayers and sticky job dust, could you send it/them my way? Really more our way, Calder and I. We need this job to continue our goal. Living on our own, in bliss.

Cheese and Chocolate

2010-04-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

Ok so not so much of a fantastic title but man that is what I am craving. So much you would think I am pregnant but alas not luck this month. Maybe Calder and I should wait to actually have kids until, um I don't know, my doctor told us to. Haha after I had my D&C my doctor told me to wait until I have had 2 periods (TMI) to start trying again. Which funny enough goes perfectly with the original plans Calder and I made last time we had a miscarriage.
Any way on to better and brighter things. I have been craving so much lately. I just wish I had every thing. Mostly money to go shopping, but everything sounds about nice. I would like to have a perfect body. No strechies (as I call them) from Aspen. Those wounds of adoption are still real as they always will be, I would like not to have a physical scar/wound from it. I would like to have more monies, lol, doesn't every one? I would like to be done with working and be a stay at home mommy (kids fit perfectly in with this, so kids as well). I would like to have my BA, in case work. I would like to travel the world. I would love to see my husband flying jets, he is on the right road, just got to get through IFS and UPT and do amazing in both and then he is there. I wish I had the drive to eat correctly and work out every day, even if that means just going for a quick walk. I wish I liked myself more. I wish I was closer with my Heavenly Father, with my brother and my Savior Jesus Christ. I wish I would let the Holy Ghost in more, that I would pray more when I have days like this, that I would read my scriptures more. I wish Calder and I were closer on a sexual level and spiritual level. I just sit around and wish and crave and want things that I can't have until I go get them. Maybe I really am depressed as I keep telling people and myself. I lack motivation to do any of this but deep down I want it all. I want my life to be perfect and although at times it really feels like it is, sadly it is no where close to it. So bottom line, I need to read a self help book on how to become more motivated. LOL not really since I probably couldn't get motivated to do that. Ok maybe I could, I find comfort in reading. Which is another reason I want to read my scriptures, see its coming full circle. Kind of. I am just rambling now so I will stop. But trust kiddos, there will be more on my cravings, including pics!

been so long good friend...

2010-04-28T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have done some changing lately, can't you tell? LOL. Well there is no where to start really. Not much has changed in my life. Calder and I have been through some good times and some hard times but they are our times. And I love every single one of them.

In Feb. Calder and I moved into our second place. Much nicer, we love it. It has 2 bedrooms. Hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances, washer and dryer, dish washer, carpeted bedrooms, I could go on but I am sure you get it.
Another year of ROTC has come and gone for Calder meaning that he only has...brace yourself for this.... ONE MORE YEAR LEFT! WOOOOOO HOOOOOO! He got his pilot slot for the Air Force and of course we found on our 2nd anniversary. We enjoyed dinner that night at Portland City Grill. I think that just maybe our spot every anniversary.
We also found out in Jan. that we were expecting a child, that was short lived. Not to be harsh or blunt about it but I am just trying to move on with my life. We so badly want to start a family but we understand our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and a child just wasn't in the plans at that moment. Maybe it will be in the very soon future. Please?
I have been thinking more and more about my blog and why I have one. I have it to serve as a diary, if nothing else. I want to do so much with writing. I feel like I have so much to say and I don't say it. I want to be able to write about religion, politics, fashion, my husband, my future family, my 2 families. I just want people to hear me, sounds whiny but so be it. I can do what I please here and that is what I want. hehe
Well that just happens to be it for today.

Just a few things...

2009-08-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

So not a whole lot has been happening in my neck of the woods but let me update you on some things that are.

First let me say it is nice being 22 now. Thats right I had my bday and it was nice. Relaxing and fun all the same time. Second, I am now a college student! Just taking one class right now, but next term I am stepping it up as much as I can and taking 2 classes. I should be done with school by 2011. YAY! Third, school has started for Calder and it is already taking him away from me more than I would like,but oh well! 2011 cant come soon enough for Calder and I, its gunna be a big year for us. And last but certainly not least, I got a promotion at work. Including a 2 dollar raise and I am so excited! Life is just so good right now! Every thing is going like we planned and I feel so blessed and I am so greatful for my Heavenly Father! Well that is all, like I said not much to report,but all pretty good things!

5 days... so far so good!

2009-08-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

So on Saturday Calder and I finally moved into our own place! It is very small (I think about 600 sq ft.) but it is ours and I love it! We have been very on top of getting things unpacked and our place is really looking like it belongs to us! Last night we decided to hang pictures. It really added that last extra touch to our living room. I need to take pictures of the place, but will only do that once it is totally finished. I love having our own place. Just cooking, cleaning and spending time - me and him- thats all. Last night I came home from work and made dinner. Sliced my finger open cutting chicken. It hurt so bad, but I laughed thinking about all the memories we will have in this tiny place. Our place!

10 day countdown...

2009-06-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

So I have 10 days before Calder gets home and I couldn't be more excited. I can't believe I made it through with really only 3 bad days. One of which was not because Calder is gone. I am so proud of Calder and I can't wait to hear all about FT! I bet he is going to be so tired when he is home so I figure that week I wont bug him too much about doing things around the house. He needs time to relax.
So I started working out more. When I go running tonight it will be day 3 in a row. The past 2 days I have ran a whole mile without stopping or walking. That may not be a huge feat for some but for some one who hate running, it is such a thing to gloat about! I don't have much planned for the rest of this week. Just doing some fun things. To the shanghi tunnels tomorrow night as one last good bye to Ian and then Friday going to stay the night at my moms. We plan on seeing The Proposal. I am pretty excited. Its my weekend I am most excited about. I am going with my mom to Seatlle to see my Nana. She is up from California. Then Monday back to work for only 4 days. We get Friday off because the 4th is the next day. I plan on running around like a chicken with my head cut off that day. Saturday I plan on trying not to freak out. haha I am just so excited so hug him and kiss him. I feel like I can't focus. I dont have anymore plans made for after Calder gets home because when he is home it doesn't matter what we do...I will be happy no matter what!

A letter finally!

2009-06-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

So Monday night I got home from work and there on the front porch was a letter from my husband and his Welcome Home banner! So pretty much my week was made that night! I haven't had a down day since! Calder's letter was short but cut deep to my heart. He seems down. He says he is being yelled at all the time and that upsets me so much. Not that I didn't expect that, but I know he isn't used to it and he normally looks to me for support in times of hardship and I am not there for him. I wish I could find some way to support him more while he is gone. I keep telling him I am so proud of him and I love him and miss him, but I just don't feel like that is enough!
I have been working out more. I went running last night and then did some abs when I got home. I plan on going to take my placement tests for school tonight and then going for a run! I really hope that even if I don't lose any weight before Calder comes home, that at least I will look a little better. I am also starting to grow my hair out. I should have listened to Calder when he told me not to chop it off. I miss my long hair. It was much easier to manage. You live and then you learn I suppose.

The First Week

2009-06-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

So it has been a week since Calder has been gone. No word from him yet. I feel like I am on a roller coaster! It has been a really hard day today. You see today is my little girls 2nd birthday! I can't believe that 2 years ago I was pushing as I write this. So insane!
I am feeling really down lately. I have my days where it doesn't affect me as much, but every night sucks. I hate falling asleep with out Calder. Once I am asleep there are no problems, but I have lost lots of sleep since he has been gone. I am not working out as much as much as I would like, but I am going to get on it! I ordered a welcome home sign for Calder. This way I can embarrass him at the airport... totally joking. I think he will like the attention! I met this amazing woman that put together some great invites for his welcome home BBQ... I am really excited for him to be home, can you tell? Tuesday night Ricky graduated from High School. I almost cried, but I have to stay strong. Once the tears start they don't stop. I am trying really hard to stay busy and strong, but this is harder than I thought... way harder. I will get through it! I have to.. my husband is depending on me.

The time is upon us..

2009-06-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well its a Wed morning and I have nothing to do at work right now so I thought I would blog.
First, Calder and I will be stuck at the in-laws until September now. We had every thing all worked out, were supposed to move out the 16th of May and then the lady we were going to rent from called and told us that the apartment wouldn't be ready until June. I was really upset so I took the day off. Then the next road block; I checked the bank account and some thing seemed to be off. I didn't see Calder's pay from the Air Force. I called Calder and asked if he was sure he got paid during the summer considering he wasn't in school. He didn't know so after some phone calls we came to the conclusion that infact NO we don't get paid in the summer. GRRR! I am so sick of us hitting these bumps. We do every thing right! We pay tithing, we both work our tushes off in order to have the things we want, we don't abuse the system and yet we cannot get a break and our own place! After much anger and tears I have moved on, because I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for us and this is just part of it.

So today is June 3rd and in a couple of days my best friend, lover, my everything will be gone for 29 days. I think I will be fine, but the hard part for me is the only contact I will have with him is through letters. Its like his mission all over again! At least we are together this time. I am not looking forward to him leaving. I am going to be a mess at the airport when I am dropping him off. I am not wearing make-up that day. I just keep thinking of how great the day he comes home will be! That is what is getting me through this.

Its been a while old friend...

2009-05-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

So I have not posted in like 2 months. I guess I dont feel like I dont need to post things that arent huge for me and Calder. Any way I bet you could guess why I am posting. Some pretty big things have happened... HAHA. Well first off me and Calder bought a beautiful car. Its an 06 Honda Civic in white. We have had it for over a month and we love it so much! Next thing is me and Calder are finally getting a place. Like an actual place where it isnt being remodeled and we can decorate and we can bring...( drumroll please ) ... MOLLY! I am excited to be able to have my little family all together in our own home.. finally!!! Well I am sure you can tell that I am excited and I just wanted to share it all with you guys. Until next time here is looking at you kid!

American Airman!

2009-03-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

So this morning at 9am, my wonderful husband of one year and some odd weeks became an official American Airman! Calder and I made our way to U of P around 830 where he signed papers, then I got to sit and talk to a 2nd LT. who commisssioned out of Calder's detachment last year. He gave me the run down of every thing and kind of calmed all my worries I have been having. He let me know that it was totally possible to be a stay at home mommy on Calder's salary. This has given me perma smile! HAHA well then around 845 family started showing up. At 9am I witnessed my husband take a step that has forever changed our lives. I couldn't be more proud. I am officially a military spouse and my husband is officially an American Airman!

Not too exciting...

2009-02-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

So not much to report on lately... other than the fact Calder and I just celebrated out first wedding anniversary! It was amazing. We had dinner at Portland City Grill on Friday night despite the fact I have been sick for the past week. Then Saturday afternoon we went out to Cannon beach and stayed the night. We first went to Lincoln City and walked around. Then drove, seemed like forever, to our beautiful hotel. The hotel's name is The Televana Inn. It was cedar wood covered, and white trimmed. It sat right on the beach. We had a fireplace in our room and a perfect view of Haystack rock and the beach which made it extra romantic. Later that night we went to Mo's. It is a tiny resturant right across the parking lot from the Inn. We called it a night after dinner and settled in for an early night. We ate some of our wedding cake and shockingly it tasted ok. Sunday morning, we got up and took a walk on the beach. After we came back to our room and grabbed our swim suits and went to the spa. We sat in the suana and then relaxed in the jacuzzi tub. Finally our stay had ended. We packed up and headed to Seaside for Pig n' Pancake and some more sight seeing. Around 11:30 we started back to good ol PDX. Now I miss the beach. Calder and I have been discussing about getting a 06 Honda Civic. I am worried about it. I just started a new job 3 weeks ago and with the economy the way it is.... who knows? It would be nice to have a nice car. I will keep you all updated on our super exciting adventures!!

More Updates..

2009-02-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

So since the last time I posted I have not done too much but lots has happened! First I got laid off on December 12th and was told I would be back to work on the 5th of January but I they haven't called me back yet. So Calder and I decided that yet again we would move back into his mom's house... fun fun.... I have been sending out my resume like a crazy woman to any thing and every thing trying to find a job or at least some one who will hire me. I lost track of who I was sending them out to though. I had an interview today and I think it went really well so we will see about that. But the biggest news is CALDER GOT A FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP THROUGH THE AIR FORCE!!!!!!! I am so incredibly proud of my husband. He works so hard ( too hard if ya ask me ) and really deserves this. So the next couple of years of school are completely paid for. We have been so blessed by our Heavenly Father this past year and I am so grateful for it. We have almost been married a year and if we were this blessed in our first year, then I cant wait for our 2nd!!!!

2009-01-01T17:06:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a very very long time since I have posted a blog. So I figured that since it is now 2009 it would be a good idea to update all on things. Well to start off Calder and I FINALLY got our own place. Its a cute 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath. It is still under construction so rent is pretty cheap. We are just so blessed to finally have our own place. After Calder and I moved into our new place my grandpa passed away after some hard couple of months. Its was so sad to see him go, but knowing I will see him again and also that he is watching over me is a beyond amazing feeling. So I went to Cali the week of Thanksgiving for his memorial. I flew home on Thanksgiving to be with my hubby and in laws. So next comes Christmas and of course it was great!! Me and Calder's first Christmas as a married couple. It was hard finding him things. His family bought him every thing I wanted to and then even after I found some thing to buy him, his brother bought him the same thing. My favorite part of the whole Christmas season this year was getting our first Christmas tree together. It was great, Calder let me pick out what colors would go on the tree and I think it turned out amazing. I have to put up pictures. On New Year's Eve we hung out with our best friends Jimmy and Courtney McKay. We went to dinner and of course crashed the YSA dance. HAHA... The dance was fun and we all have so much fun together. Well not much more happened than that, but Calder and I are so excited its 2009. So many things are 1 year closer for us and we couldn't be happier!!

The Beginning

2008-10-17T21:02:00.000-07:00

So it's Friday evening and I have decided to start a blog. Maybe to get more thoughts out or maybe to just be main stream, but either way I think I am going to enjoy this. I have decided because I am doing this I am going to erase my Myspace. Its about time I do that any way, it gets no love.
On to better things. Calder, the in-laws and I are going to get our pumpkins tomorrow! I can't wait and the cool thing is the pumpkin patch we are going to allows dogs to come, so our Molly girl is coming along. It seems like I have a busy day tomorrow. Well if I have a busy day so does Calder. (But he loves that) Well not much more to talk about tonight. I think I am going to try and figure out this blogging thing a little more.

Night all!!